Refleksi Minda

It’s never an easy thing to leave one’s home. I’ve done it twice in the previous two years, and still it does not become less difficult. Even if I have spent more years abroad these past years than I do in Malaysia, I still leave the country with a heavy sense of attachment, chains which do not break easily.

Don’t mistake me; the United Kingdom is not a bad country to live in. In fact, I think it’s one of the better countries in the world. There are enough good things there for the place to become an attraction for people from all over the world. Yet, like the saying goes; “Hujan emas di negeri orang, hujan batu di negeri sendiri, lebih baik di negeri sendiri”. As wonderful as the UK may be, to me, it is still not home. This is my country, this is where my heart is.

In these fair lands lie my past. I grew up in Malaysia, I spent the better part of 20 years here. My family is here, they who have supported and loved me. Again I will not be able to embrace my parents come Aidilfitri. Again I will not be able to play videogames with my brother for a year. Again I will not be able to see my sisters go through another year, taking yet another step into becoming women.

I will also leave behinds close and dear friends, friends which I practically grew up with. Friends which have transcended into the type of friendship where a favour is no longer a favour, it is just another gesture. Where there are no such things as ‘kecil hati’. Where race or religion is no longer an issue. Where diversity is cherished rather than dreaded. I am not just leaving friends, but leaving brothers, my saudara, in every meaningful sense of the word. Friends which I have shared so much with, learned so much with, enjoyed spending the most time with, laughed so much and loudest with, friends which though I may travel the seven seas and back, I will never even begin to hope to ever encounter the likes of which again. Though this distance my separate us, though time may strive to put a gap between us, the friendship we forged is strong enough that when I return a year later, it would seem as if I never left.

Tell me, how am will I not be sad leaving all those? Leaving the nasi kandar restaurants, with it’s roti canai and teh tarik. Leaving MidValley and KLCC and One Utama. Leaving the abundance of anime on CDs and DVDs. Leaving Astro. Leaving Vince and KRU and Mawi and Reshmonu and Jaclyn Victor and M. Nasir. Leaving the countless Sportsplanet, Rios, Sportsbarn, Misa and the other countless number of futsal courts. Leaving reading the New Straits Times and Utusan Malaysia every morning. Leaving Kuala Lumpur and Johore and my beloved Petaling Jaya, with it’s Jalan Gasing and Jalan Chantek and Oldtown and Newtown. Leaving my Malays, my Chinese, my Indians, my Ibans, my Kadazans and all others who call themselves Malaysian. Leaving the goreng pisang, the keropok lekor, the ikan mayong, the Penang char kuey teow, the sambal sotongs, basically the food heaven that is our country. Leaving such trappings, tell me, how am I supposed to not leave with a heavy heart?

And yet, a year is just a year. The sands of time will shift, and the tides will change, and after autumn will come winter, and spring and summer will follow. Parliament will continue it’s sessions, politicians will talk their thing. In one year leaders will fall, and other leaders will rise. People will die and others will be born. The price of oil will increase, and so will the price of other goods, because ‘minyak naik’. New highways will be built and completed (and hopefully none will collapse). And after a year, this son of Malaysia will return to his homeland, for how long he does not know, yet even if his journey overseas will not end next year, he truly wishes that his journey in life itself will end here. Amongst his people. In this fair lands, this land of boundless energy, this land of potential. His land, his tanah tumpahnya darahku, his tanahair which he loves with all his heart.

For now however, farewell.

This entry was posted on Friday, September 2nd, 2005 at 12:01 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.